Tuesday, July 30, 2013

[REDACTED]

From Cap'n Adam Hoden

I honestly don't know if I'm more scared or sad anymore.  All I really know is, I'm pretty sure there's no going back.

I can, however, still be a sardonic asshole.  Here's a recent solicitation from the DNC, and my e-mail reply:

Adam --

We're basically out of time.

The midyear fundraising deadline is in just 72 hours and we still have a $730,000 gap we have to fill. If we fall short, Speaker Boehner can rest easy knowing that he has the upper hand going into the 2014 elections. If we see a last-minute grassroots surge, we could actually overtake the Republicans and win a Democratic House for President Obama.

Adam -- if you're planning to give, we could really use your support today.

Name: Cap'n Adam Hoden
Suggested Support: $3.00

Stand with President Obama: Donate $3 today and your donation will be matched dollar-for-dollar >>

When we have to report our numbers to the Federal Election Commission, everyone will be watching to see if our grassroots strength can compete with Boehner and his corporate backers. We can't fall short on this one.

Can you chip in today -- even if it's just 3 bucks?

http://dccc.org/Midyear-Deadline

Let's do this,

Democratic Headquarters

MY REPLY: 

To whom it may concern:
I would love to support the Democratic Party, and I agree that it is important to remove Tea Party Republicans from their positions in Congress.
Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that records of my communications with other US citizens are likely being seized and recorded by the federal government for morally and legally dubious reasons.  
Were I to show my support of the Democrats by donating money to the party and its candidates, this information might be collected, analyzed, and stored for unknown reasons for an unknown period of time.  You'll understand that I cannot take the risk that these records may be used to discriminate against me should the Republican Party ever come to power again.  
Knowing the GOP like you and I do, we're both no doubt aware that when in power, Republicans have a poor track record of upholding civil rights.  George W. Bush especially treated the Fourth and Fifth and Sixth Amendments more like suggestions than the basic, inalienable laws that they are.  Future Republican Presidents would probably be even worse.
I shudder at the very thought of living in a country without being protected from unreasonable search and seizure or the guarantee of due process of law and being tried by a jury of my peers.  What a nightmarish, Orwellian dystopia that would be! You can clearly see why it would be unwise to ever leave a record of my supporting Democrats. 
Regretfully, 
Adam Hoden
PS:  I was glad to hear President Obama's assurances that the NSA's domestic surveillance activities are transparent.  I look forward to reviewing the FISA court cases that no doubt completely  justify the program. . .if and when those records are declassified.  

Dueling Double-0s

From Jesus Miguel Hernandez













They missed their chance in Skyfall, but it's not too late.  It's time to bring Sean Connery out of retirement to play a Bond villain.

I'm not talking about a silly, wink at the audience, lighthearted stream of fanservice villain.  I'm talking about a dangerous, brutal, 'holy shit he might actually win' villain.  I want him to be a villain that hurts Bond.  I want a villain who's actions permanently change the world for the worse.  I'm talking about a villain who will, unlike all the past Bond villains, steal a nuclear bomb, and then fucking use it.  I want Connery to be the Bond villain that vaporizes a city.

You'll never convince me that Kincade wasn't a part that was written specifically for Connery.   You don't write a scene that has a character grease some fucker with a shotgun (complete with that Bond one-liner, "Welcome to Scotland"), without Sean Connery in mind.  But as cool as that would have been, I'm glad he didn't appear.  It would have been a waste of potential.  As the man responsible for building the Bond franchise, he should be the on who poses a serious danger of tearing it down.