Thursday, October 2, 2008

A Paper Boy's Lament

Editor’s Note: We literally have no idea what Woody Flavour is talking about. Instead of trying to edit his rambling post in any way, we’ve elected to present to you, in its original form, ‘Goodman’ Woody (Cricket Bat) Flavour’s post. We present it to you in this way as a cry for help of sorts; evidence of his illness, if you will. As always, Mr. Flavour’s opinions do not reflect the views or opinions of The Special Needs Group, its affiliates, lackeys, sponsors, footmen, operatives, third world militias, or parent company: Hernandez Religious Idol Corporation.

By Woody (Cricket Bat of Sorts) Flavour

What have I become? I mean come on, its the 2000s people. There's not enough news going around. And the only kind that is going around is the fake kind. The kind where Republicans equal more that 1/3 of regular people. All I'm saying is that I think the newspapers should employ paper boys again. This whole economic down turn has choked the money out of the lifeblood that is the wallet of the common dog faced paperboy.

I remember this old guy from the barbershop, who remembers a time when Americans got their news from a prepubescent to pubescent guy toddering around on a ten speed bikecycle. It was a wondrous time filled with printed homonyms and syllogisms. Cotton candy and moon pies filled the room with all sorts of piles of doughy crustynuts. Cereal grew on trees and mailboxes were made of pressed wood from floorboards of the rich.

It's time that the guys wearing their designer ties driving around in their Deloreans and eating their caviar and drinking their Mad Dog 20/20.

No comments: