By Jesus Miguel Hernandez
Sarah Palin is sexy. She’s down-right fuckable. I’m not sure if it’s the Tina Fey, vulnerable-yet-spunky-librarian-MILF thing she’s got going on, or if it’s just the fact that insane right wing chicks are universally hot (see here, here, here, here, here, here, and the exception that proves the rule here).
I’ve noticed, however that some people have confused her insane come-shag-me-until-I–believe-in-global-warming looks with actual astuteness. In the interest of deflating our collective wood, I’d like to remind everybody that Sarah Palin is a functional moron (see here, here, here, and another fugly conservative here). She does not believe in protecting endangered species, evolution, or teaching safe sex—preferring instead the all but debunked abstinence only programs. Tom Perrotta wrote an excellent article about the bizarre paradox of sexy abstinence advocates for Slate Magazine.
There’s no shame in wanting to have weird, degrading, amoral sex with Sarah Palin. I know I do. But please, don’t cast your vote for anyone based on their sex appeal. There’s a reason penises aren’t allowed to vote.
UPDATE: If i didn't make the case against Sarah Palin, let Sarah Palin do it:
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What language do they speak in Alaska?