Monday, September 29, 2008

BGA Fall Membership Drive!

By Inches O’Toole

My friends, fall is upon us, bringing with it colder weather, greyer skies, a new school year, and deep, deep depression. Bearing that in mind, I would like to remind you that The Brotherhood of Gentlemen Alcoholics is winding up their annual fall membership drive!

We all know that drinking is an invaluable tool when it comes to driving and parenting, but did you know that it’s also a great way to kill time? Why should you have to endure the endless winter months alone when Johnny Walker, Jose Cuervo, Old Mr. Jameson, George Dickel, George T. Stagg, and hell, even those dirty little bastards Jim Beam and his chum Jack Daniels all want to help you through?

Drinking can make the most boring activities, such as piloting an aircraft, captaining an oceangoing vessel, or brandishing a firearm, seem fun and exciting. Just ask Sean Connery:

If that look on his face after he takes his first sip dosen't say "Yum!," then I don't know what does.

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