Thursday, July 31, 2008

Gas Up the Hummer, Mabel!

By Shamus (Inches and Miles) O’Toole

It is time to come out of the closet. I’m not going to be ashamed anymore. After years of hiding my feelings, I just can’t deny my true nature any longer. Ladies and gentlemen, I, Master Inches O’Toole, am an anti-environmentalist.

I’m not one of those nutters who believes that the world was intended solely for mankind’s use, or that the free market will save the day. No, dear readers, I’m not a conservative blowhard, a ditto head, a fundamentalist, or even functionally retarded. I just want to watch as every man, woman, and child on this partial-birth abortion of a planet slowly suffocates on their own effluent.

You might think that’s a little harsh. But before you judge me, I challenge you to give me one example of the positive effect our species has had on anything. I’ve long been against human reproduction, but it seems mandatory sterilization in not likely to happen. Therefore, I put it to you that it is every person’s duty to leave the largest carbon footprint possible. Let’s let some other species run the planet for a while. Maybe dolphins will do a better job of it.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The NOT SO Special Needs Group

Apparently there's an issue here on the board that I thought I'd never have to deal with. This isn't just about football anymore Woody...

Let's just get the huge eraser and shake the Etch a Sketch clean...its a mess now....


Tuesday, July 15, 2008

And He Dosen't Use Tags, Either

By Jesus Miguel Hernandez

Every once and a while, the members of the special needs group need to take a quiet sabbatical in order to recharge our creative batteries. If Messers Hoden and O’Toole are off on a vacation, or completing programs that would allow them to reenter society, I would pick up the slack and post more often. If, however all three of the honorable associates of the special needs blog happened to be engaged in other projects, responsibility would fall on our junior associate Woody Flavour to fill the void.

It would seem that we failed to explain to Mr. Flavour that we here at The Special Needs Group do not insult our readers on the Special Needs Blog; instead favoring to do so behind our readers’ backs. We also will have a talk with Mr. Flavour about context, and telling our readers what the hell they’re reading.

As a special way of apologizing to our loyal throng of readers, we are introducing a new semi-regular character to our gang at the Special Needs Group. Please welcome Tobias the “Sorry” Clown. His image will adorn all future posts in which we make a public apology. We look forward to working with our new friend Tobias.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

the proper sick fucks

Woody "Cricket Bat" Flavour

Thee videos that have and will change the world. "Finding Out True Love is Blnd" by Louis XIV. "Danger! High Voltage!" by Electric Six. "Business Time" by Flight of the Conchords.

Monday, July 7, 2008

fucking respect REDUX


Thursday, July 3, 2008

Roger Miller

By Inches O'Toole

For those who forgot, I'd just like to remind you how awesome Roger Miller was.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Some More of This

A Self-Important Editorial

From Cap’n Adam Hoden

Please permit me a bit of digression from our usual standard of jackassery, while I ramble a bit about my views of humanity.

I’ve always felt that the most encouraging aspect of humanity is our singular need to better ourselves. To recognize one’s own flaws and strive to overcome them defines courage. It is our gift of introspection and our need to prevail over ourselves that I believe will save the world.

There are many reasons to be frustrated with still-President George Walker Bush. The decisions that he has made have damaged the United States in countless ways. His responsibility in the deaths of thousands of my countrymen, and tens of thousands of innocent civilians is unforgivable. Bearing this in mind, President’s unwillingness to acknowledge his mistakes—and his utter inability accept responsibility for the negative outcomes of his mistakes—is especially infuriating.

With 202 days left in his final term in office, still-President Bush has precious little time to mitigate his blunders. It is very unlikely that Mr. Bush would change anything, even if he were cognizant of his flaws. He tends to view leadership as the quality of never changing one’s mind; always staying the course.

After Bush’s watch is over, our new helmsman will hopefully see the wisdom in changing course before we run aground. If our new President does recognize that wisdom, George W. Bush’s administration will be an easy act to follow.