Tuesday, May 6, 2008

A New Revelation

By Shamus (Proud Inches) O’Toole

Yesterday, I penned an article of which I was very proud. I was proud of the content of the article, not of the subject, which is an idea that we’re apparently fucking married to for some reason. No, I was proud of a couple of the jokes that, like an expert craftsman, I laid lovingly into my work. Yet, last night, as I was sitting with friends; discussing the issues of the day over brandy and Cohibas, I was chastised by an acquaintance for this joke:

What can I say about SpongeBob SquarePants that the Book of Revelations hasn’tsaid already?

I thought this amusing little sentence was a clever, pithy setup for the rest of the paragraph, which went on to describe the cartoon in a negative light. My acquaintance told me that “I’m past all those Book of Revelations jokes.”

This statement annoyed me for several reasons. First, he had suggested that his sense of humor was so much more advanced than mine that he no longer had time for my sophomoric little jokes. Second, what fucking ‘Revelations jokes’ was he talking about? Was there some recent tsunami of people making snide remarks about The Book of Revelations that I had missed? Finally, fuck him. You may not enjoy another’s sense of humor, but that doesn’t mean you have to call it puerile to his face—wait until you can say it behind his back.

Therefore, in honor of my acquaintance, I present a new feature of our Special Needs Group: The Revelations Joke of the Week. Somewhere on this page, there will be a Revelations-related joke that shall be updated weekly. I beg you to enjoy.

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