By Captain Adam Hoden
Never disparage a beloved cartoon character.
Today, I was accosted by a large lady—henceforth referred to as The Columnist-Eating Woman—wearing an ancient and stained Snoopy sweater. She vigorously reminded me that Rerun Van Pelt is indeed a well-known and much-loved member of the Peanuts gang.
The policy of The Special Needs Group, as spelled out in our charter (§ 147, ¶ 6), is to never print corrections unless under threat of firing squad, lynch mob, or civil law suit. However, after much prompting from The Columnist-Eating Woman, we will make an exception.
The Official Peanuts Web Site says the following about our beloved Rerun:
Rerun Van Pelt is often mistaken for Linus, even though he's his little brother. He can always be recognized in his trademark overalls. Rerun is more skeptical than his brother, much harder to convince, and always gets around Lucy where Linus gives in. His only fear is being the passenger on one of his mother's bicycle-riding errands. Somehow, Rerun is the only witness to her riding into grates and potholes. Luckily, he always wears a helmet. Rerun also longs for a dog of his own, but since his parents won't let him have one, he tries to "borrow" Snoopy from Charlie Brown. Snoopy won't have any part of it unless Rerun brings cookies.
Assuming that The Columnist-Eating Woman does not know where I live, I promise this will be the final posting concerning a comic strip. God, I need a drink.