Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Screaming Into the Void

By Jesus Miguel Hernandez

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to The Special Needs Group. We are three people who often feel the need to spew our choleric bile as an impotent gesture of self-important braying. Though we realize that at best we are just bellowing into a cavernous void, we feel that it is much more fun to do so in a public setting.

The Special Needs Group consists of Shamus (Inches) O’Toole, Captain Adam Hoden, and me, Jesus Miguel Hernandez. Shamus O’Toole is an ass. As a self described ‘tennis hooligan’ the proudest moment of his life came when he threw a scotch bottle at Serena Williams in Wimbledon in 2001. He is not allowed within 30 miles of Palm Beach County, Florida.

“Captain” Adam Hoden is a flabby, sexless nerd. He has been heard quoting extensively from Star Trek, and is known to have a bizarre sexual infatuation with Ellen DeGeneres.

And I am Jesus Hernandez. I sport a mocha completion and have been favorably compared to Ricardo Montalbán circa 1967.

So, welcome to our club! I hope that we are able to provide some measure of entertainment and insight. Please feel free to provide any feedback you wish.



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